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Holiday Eating Tips

 
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queen
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Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 3065
Location: somewhere in Chiefs Country

PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 2:21 pm    Post subject: Holiday Eating Tips Reply with quote

Happy Seasons Eatings!



Holiday Eating tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave
immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy.
Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed
potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car
with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your
eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other
people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the
time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while
carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted
Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near
them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of
attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind,
you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if
you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have
three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory
celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or
get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start
over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

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Wandering Nick
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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Posts: 835
Location: With the hookah smoking catepillar!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Holiday Eating Tips Reply with quote

queen wrote:
Happy Seasons Eatings!



2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You
can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it
has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into
an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have
two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

ummm who cares that it has 10000 calories? i think i know someone...and drinking eggnog fast makes me sick to my stomach
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Wandering Nick
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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Posts: 835
Location: With the hookah smoking catepillar!

PostPosted: Fri Dec 14, 2007 2:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

is this saying DONT EAT FUITCAKE!?!!??!?!!? I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE FRUIT CAke...as a matter of fact...im going to have some now...toodles
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Lord Clarke
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Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Posts: 400
Location: South of the North Pole

PostPosted: Sat Dec 15, 2007 9:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wandering Nick wrote:
is this saying DONT EAT FUITCAKE!?!!??!?!!? I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE FRUIT CAke...as a matter of fact...im going to have some now...toodles


Good fruit cake is hard to find.....in fact, I have never had it....but my father swears that my mother had a recipe that was not only the best fruitcake he has ever had, but the best cake, period......and she LOST the recipe. The key to it though, from what I understand, was that she made it months in advance and every week or so she would add a cup of bourbon and pour it over. Now, if you know anything about alcohol, you know that it evaporates when cooked. BUT this was added AFTER cooking, so therefore, alcohol still there.....and my father was a recovering alcoholic who got the feeling of drunkeness for every piece he had. And she made several cakes. And he could not figure out how he felt drunk every night for several days. Until he found out that the bourbon went in AFTER cooking.

So was it the flavor or the nice buzz? He swears the flavor was awesome, the buzz was just a nice surprise.

So go to the store, but some fruitcake, and start your basting in bourbon now. It may help the cake apparently.
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Silvia
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Joined: 25 Jul 2007
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 10:40 am    Post subject: Holiday exercises Reply with quote

Given the massive amount of food we're bound to eat over the holiday's, what follows is a suggested workout routine. You might want to take it easy at first, do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. And of course, always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

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That's enough for the first day. Great job!

Have a Chocolate.
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Kevin Of Nowhere
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Joined: 10 Aug 2007
Posts: 1134
Location: Heroes' Ascent

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 4:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Holiday exercises Reply with quote

Silvia wrote:
Given the massive amount of food we're bound to eat over the holiday's, what follows is a suggested workout routine. You might want to take it easy at first, do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. And of course, always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

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That's enough for the first day. Great job!

Have a Chocolate.

*sets mouse to skip 100000000 lines everytime i scroll*
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queen
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Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 3065
Location: somewhere in Chiefs Country

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 5:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Holiday exercises Reply with quote

Silvia wrote:
Given the massive amount of food we're bound to eat over the holiday's, what follows is a suggested workout routine. You might want to take it easy at first, do it faster as you become more proficient. It may be too strenuous for some. And of course, always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

> SCROLL DOWN...
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That's enough for the first day. Great job!

Have a Chocolate.



VERY CUTE!!!! :D
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Beryl Rissand
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Joined: 19 Sep 2007
Posts: 679
Location: Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm having trouble scrolling. I think some chocolate got inside my mouse.
Bad mouse!

If I throw the mouse and hit the wall near the ceiling, does that count as high impact aerobics?
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Silvia
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Joined: 25 Jul 2007
Posts: 267

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beryl Rissand wrote:
If I throw the mouse and hit the wall near the ceiling, does that count as high impact aerobics?


Yes, yes I think it does. Great work Beryl!
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queen
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Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 3065
Location: somewhere in Chiefs Country

PostPosted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 11:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

good excercise...i'll try that myself....how about throwing a few things at the kids???
































pillows.........................................c'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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Silvia
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 7:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Kevin Of Nowhere
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

queen wrote:
good excercise...i'll try that myself....how about throwing a few things at the kids???



pillows.........................................c'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i dont get how thats funny :? :?: :? :?: :shock: :!:
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Wandering Nick
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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
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Location: With the hookah smoking catepillar!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kevin Of Nowhere wrote:
queen wrote:
good excercise...i'll try that myself....how about throwing a few things at the kids???



pillows.........................................c'monnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

i dont get how thats funny :? :?: :? :?: :shock: :!:
her kids are agravating her and she wants to throw pillos at her :D :lol:
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